Let's Kick it up a Notch

So today started out as a typical boring tired Monday. I woke up way too early, packed up everything I would need for the week, and drove the hour and a half to work. I was not feeling it at all today, so I got a GIANT sweet tea from McDonald's (a place I swear I usually never go) and continued on my way. There must have been something magical in that sweet tea because after I started working I started thinking about life, where I want to go and do, and who I want to become (typical Monday thoughts, no?) and I realized that I have never been more ready to take on the world.

Life for the past year or so has not gone as planned. At all. I don't think it could have been more full of surprises and twists if it was a soap opera. Sometimes in your head you think "this is how this is going to go" and life just goes "nope." And what can you do about it? So much more than we ever think. When things started to go majorly wrong I just threw my hands up and covered my eyes while things crashed and burned around me. I didn't want to move forward, I just wanted to feel happy in the moment, so I hid from my responsibilities. Obviously things do not go well in college or in life when you put your head in the sand anytime something serious comes along. Failing at things seemed to be a pattern, and the cycle of being a turtle continued. I didn't feel like I was in control of my life at all, so putting in effort seemed pointless.

Mistakes have been made. Some of them were major mistakes that will have consequences on my future. It was hard to accept that I was responsible for my own destruction as a result of circumstances I had no control over. I didn't know how to take responsibility, I wasn't ready to take responsibility. But now I have a plan.

Life is never ever going to be perfect. There will always be bumps in the road and sometimes you just have to let them knock you down for a bit, but then get back up and dust yourself off. There is so much that can be done to take control of life. Nothing is impossible to overcome, especially if you have people around you to support you through your rough patches. Life moves on one way or another, so you can either let it happen and do nothing, or you can work hard in the present to have a better future.

I used to have GIANT dreams. Become an Olympic rider, an NFL cheerleader, Miss America, and then many more that were a little more academically based and achievable. There has been a little twist in my plan, but I am going to move forward at full speed ahead. I know what I am capable of, and I am determined to be successful in all aspects of my life. This blog will probably be a significant tool in moving my life forward. It is a good way to measure growth, and reading about other bloggers' lives and adventures and challenges is motivating because it is real.

This was definitely not the summer of my dreams. I did not get an awesome internship in an exciting city where I could live on my own and have future opportunities. I am working part of my summer doing physical labor, and the rest of the summer is still up in the air. I thought it would be a wasted summer, and I was so angry with myself for causing this to happen. But I believe that everything happens for a reason, and the reason for this is to be able to move forward in a different way. Now I can pull my life back together. There are parts I cannot fix, I can only work to improve, but with extra time this summer I can really create a plan for launching myself forward. I never would have thought about looking into extra ways to get experience or income if this hadn't happened. There are opportunities I have actually created for myself from this situation, and that is what I plan to do going forward.

Look out world, here I come.