Wednesday, October 8, 2014

High Standards are the Only Standards: Men

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So many articles lately (especially on Elite Daily) are about how to be happy in a relationship, or what to look for in someone if you're going to settle down. To be honest, some of the lists are a little absurd. However, I do agree with the idea of knowing what you can and cannot tolerate when it comes to dating/guys. So I decided to take a look at my standards for dating. My top five standards are:

  1. Intelligence
  2. Sense of humor
  3. Kindness
  4. Ability to communicate
  5. Chemistry
I need to date someone with an equal or higher intelligence than my own. I get bored so quickly by dull conversations and closed minds. Being able to debate current events or discuss our opinions on controversial topics are very important to me because I enjoy being mentally stimulated. I cannot imagine ever dating someone that never wanted to talk about anything new or lacked common sense.

A sense of humor is essential to every relationship. Anyone that knows me knows that I am very easily amused. While some people might view this as a negative because I'm always giggling at stupid things or laughing to myself, I like to look at it as I can laugh even when life isn't all that funny. If a guy can make me laugh, and likes to make me laugh, I'm hooked. Life will never be completely smooth sailing, and the ability to laugh and take everything in stride is extremely important. If I can laugh at him when he spills coffee all over the floor, he needs to be able to laugh at me when I forget to put gas in my car and need to call him to rescue me. Plus life is just better when you have someone to laugh with.

Kindness is very underrated as a quality people look for. I think that we always assume we'll date someone who is kind, but forget to think about whether or not someone is. I use the word "kind" instead of "nice" because of the whole "girls don't like nice guys" thing. I notice when a guy holds the door open for me, or is polite to a waiter, or just makes a comment about someone. Being kind can be a challenge, especially when it comes to talking about people. A guy who is kind in his actions and words, especially towards me, is a keeper.

I am a firm believer that communication solves almost all relationship problems. I love to talk (sometimes too much) and I've learned that communication is just so essential to a relationship. Being able to communicate to your SO your feelings/emotions and thoughts, and also understand theirs is a challenge. Listening is just as much a part of communication as talking. A relationship is a process of learning about another person, and how to compromise so you can work best together. If you don't know anything about their feelings and they don't understand yours, there is no way to find middle ground.

Some people don't believe in chemistry, but I absolutely think it's a thing. Sometimes people just don't mesh well together. And sometimes they mesh together so well it can be bizarre. I don't think that chemistry is permanent. You may not have strong chemistry with someone initially, but it could grow Or you may have it in the beginning, and it fades a bit. People change, but the essence should always be there. I think that there are people that we are just meant to "click" with, that when you meet, it just makes sense why you met. That's chemistry.

It's also very unlikely I'll ever have chemistry with a guy under 6'2 (kidding).

Keep your head, heels, and standards high.
 
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